che, barrios, colors, and pancakes

january 14

we only had class for a few hours yesterday- mainly we practiced choosing and creating our own activities from the textbook. we also found some really helpful webpages- for example, animal safari sounds and an animated song to accompany the lesson. this course has really highlighted the incredible impact the interent has for teachers sharing information. after class, i came back to the provadenic and read "the motorcycle diaries" for a bit (ernesto 'che' guevara's diaries from his trip around south america) and listened to some tunes. the book is quite wonderful (the movie, one of my favorites) and details ernesto and alberto's misadventures throughout an 8 month trek. it's funny because most of the book they remain completely miserable, cold, under-fed, and ill. their only form of transportation dies a third of the way into the trip and they are forced to hitchike with the locals from city to city. however, where most of us would be turning home in agony- they press on... guided by i don't know what- ernesto remarks at one point that their loved ones may have mistook their supposed bravery for simple stupidity. i've been told i'm brave, and am hoping desperately that i'm not stupid! the best part of the book for me is that because the two are extremely poor, they simply try to survive from meal to meal. this type of focus lends itself to making the best out of terrible situations and to small kindnesses making the biggest difference throughout the journey. i want to go to chile!!! ernesto wrote, "Looking at the scenery superficially only captures its boring uniformity and doesn't get into the spirit of the countryside; for that you need to spend several days in a place". these two explorers inspire me to not just look for the scenery in places, but to dig deeper, to find the terrible recesses and to learn them, to appreciate them, to understand the real people behind them. i refuse to be a tourist... i must care enough about the places i visit to embark on a journey with the people there, and to capture and honor their hopes and dreams.
i walked around the barrio for a while taking pictures but still don't feel comfortable wandering around by myself here. i'm sure it's perfectly safe during daylight but it's going to take time to convince me of the safety. till then, i'm skeptical at best and a bit jumpy (which really doesn't suit me). the barrio's a strange mix of nicer new buildings and shanties held together by tin and barbed wire- similar to the 'la luz' barrio that the JV's live in. it's simple to truly see the gap between the 'have's' and 'have not's' here- one does not have to look beyond the front door of a casa to understand the relative hardships of the family living inside. many of the wealthier homes have mosaic type sidewalks outside their wired-in porches, and fancy designs instead of simple bars on their windows and doors. this may not seem like much, but when contrasted with rusted twisted tin scraps... it means much.
i've been having an inner debate about the colors here, and whether or not they actually are brighter and more vibrant than those i'm used to in the estados. i do think that in general, buildings here are more often painted in bright primaries and colors similar to those found in a packet of tropical skittles. it almost seems like the colors of things in the estados are more muted, they all ascribe to a similar pattern of "nice, but not toooo much, don't start any debates or problems with these colors!" which leads basically to "blah". i also believe that the colors here seem more raw to me, new because the combinations they're seen in are different than any i've been exposed to, and new for their cracked and broken nature. there's something incredibly beautiful in brokeness- a heartwrenching quality which shouts "mend me" and at the same time whispers "sit, for a while, and ponder my existence. why am i broken? can you fix me, or should you simply honor my existence, my brokeness?" i need to think more about this. more thoughts on it at a later point.
after i returned to my room, i finished my book, ate dinner, did some yoga, and went to bed. all in all a fulfilling and relaxing day :)
this morning, i woke to dreams of home and was treated to the BEST breakfast i've had here by far. there was a group of missionaries from ohio who arrived last night, and i swear they feed me better here because of these wonderful men. hallelujah! i had a pancake (with syrup!), pinto gallo (rice & beans), an egg, watermelon, toast, and a bannana. it was a feast! it's incredible how a meal like that can actually make an entire day feel like it will be wonderful, full, and productive. more than that, i had fresh fruit which was really a treat. after a week, i already promise myself to never take the availability of fresh fruit we have in the estados for granted again... because it's WONDERFUL. simply wonderful. i really don't have plans for the day, but i think i'll walk around the barrio a bit this morning and take some more pictures, and maybe find a church to go to- i do enjoy seeing different types of worship. i'll write more later- cal