don't let the bedbugs bite...karma's a bitch!

While reading a book in bed last night I heard some rustling around (not surprising as in the past two days in my room I’ve found cockroaches, grasshoppers, some kind of bedbugs, mosquitoes, and mice) and tried to ignore it for a while… but the scurrying became even more pronounced and unavoidable. So…with a deep sigh I seem to have perfected (through my searching out of the various pests constantly invading my room) I began to search high and low for a culprit. What I found, however, was extremely surprising (as I haven’t seen one since my stay in La Concha)… an esparanza (grasshopper about the length of my hand which looks like two green leaves pressed neatly together) sitting on top of one of the bunk-beds, trying desperately to find its way out of the confines of my room. Since esparanzas are considered to be good luck here, I chose to leave it be and resumed reading. Moments later I looked up at the wooden rafters supporting my tin roof and saw an entire family of mice wandering around in search of a stray morsel. I woke up with bug bites this morning that were most definitely not mosquitoes, and showed them to Dona Miriam (who cleans our house) and she was entirely grossed out but could not offer an explanation. So… one of my roomates (who thinks my trials and tribulations with every pesky animal and insect in Cusmapa are extremely entertaining) offered to help me fumagate my room this week. I don’t even know what that entails here… but it sounds nasty. I’m just hoping the bedbugs go away. I always thought that silly little nursery rhyme was a freaking JOKE but apparently it’s not. Not a very funny joke anyways, in all honesty, who gets bedbugs? I’m not THAT dirty.

Moving on, life here’s actually going really well. I’ve settled myself in to a bit of a routine, which for the moment goes something like this: 1) wake up the first time at 3 AM when the roosters start cock-a-doodling their heads off, 2) wake up the second time at 5 AM when the first bus rambles through town honking it’s horn incessantly, 3) wake up for the third (and final) time at 6:30 AM when the second bus serves as a perfect alarm clock, 4) eat breakfast- oatmeal with a banana, and drink a lovely cup of instant coffee, 5) head off to school… a nice 10 minute walk through town (some days dodging pigs rolling in the mud, always watching for local men trotting by on horses with their machetes, trying to intimidate the stray dogs so they don’t nip at my feet, and saying ‘adios’- which serves as hello and goodbye to any person who stares at me for long enough), 6) try to practice the piano… which is terribly slow going as I haven’t practiced for the last 9-10 years, but since I’m a choir director it’s kind of important that I can play, 7) choir practice with the first group of high school kids- trying my damndest to plunk out the right notes so they have some sort of respect for my musical skills… normally failing at that and just laughing at myself, 8) choir practice with the middle school girls (who are most definitely the best group- easy to work with, eager to learn, and very fun, well behaved… if anyone had ever told me middle school would be my favorite age to teach I would have though they were absolutely insane but I love them), 9) lunch at school (usually some combination of rice, beans, a tortilla, and some sort of meat or corn mush… today I made the mistake of eating a red chile pepper with my rice and my mouth was on fire for about 20 minutes. Not a pleasant experience.), 10) walk back to the house to relax for about 20 minutes (read or write usually), 11) return to the school to do prep work for the little kiddos… who for the 45 minutes leading up to their class come in a constant stream to ask me when class starts (although it’s at the same time everyday). I have 25 kids in my 5-9 year old class- and they are so exhausting, but so much fun. I’ve realized that it takes an extremely special (read: insanely gifted) person to handle kids of that age in large groups. I am not one of these people. One on one, I’m great with kids… but I don’t like doing the stern teacher voice at all… and they simply are not controllable without it. Give them about 5 seconds of leeway and they’re all over the place! Today we had a special “dance” time at the end of class- which worked out really well except I think the next teacher was not impressed with me as the kids were all sorts of wound up by the time she started her class. 12) prep-work for voice lesson/afternoon choir classes- right now I’m only giving voice lessons to one girl, her name’s Wendy and she didn’t make the choir this year. She’s in high school- and I really like her, she loves singing and is extremely patient with my inability to speak Spanish. We had our first lesson last week and I made her dance around the room singing with me… she probably thinks I’m crazy but she does a great job of hiding it! 13) afternoon choir with the high school- about 35 kids… my co-worker’s really sick so I have no idea how it will go without her… I’m offering up a small prayer though! 14) go home, eat dinner (more beans and rice, and a tomato… sometimes with a scrambled egg!), 15) lesson planning, 16) bed. So, that’s a taste of my life here…There’s different ups and downs in every moment, and I take things day by day

I’m not teaching English yet, because Magda (my co-worker/boss of the music program/helper) is really sick and we don’t know what’s wrong with her. I’m really worried because I think she had some sort of stroke last year (she told me she went numb in one side of her body and couldn’t walk or talk for a month) and now her face is swelling up on one side… she has constant headaches. To top it off, her daughter, age 6, hasn’t been able to walk for the last year and a half (they think something is wrong with her brain…). I can’t help but think Magda’s health problems must be serious. But, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it, and, even worse, there’s practically nothing she can do. She was headed to the health center last time I saw her, but I don’t know what they will do for her there- she can’t get any real tests done, all they have at the health center is antibiotics. I am certain that what they can give her there will not cure what she has. Even if she could afford going to Managua to get tests done, I know she still couldn’t afford to do anything about it. It breaks my heart because she’s one of the kindest and gentlest women I’ve ever known and she would do anything to help the kids here. We’re so lucky in the states to at least have access to the kind of health care that could really benefit us in a situation like hers. Although we bitch and moan about how expensive it is (and really, it is ridiculous how much things cost) at least we have the option. I just wish I could do something, anything…

So, I’m going to start teaching English in March (we’ll just have to wait and see what happens with that). It’s frustrating because the school system’s so strange here with timing of classes- you’d think that one age group would have classes in the morning and the other in the afternoon, but it’s so jumbled that it’s nearly impossible to find a time in the day that works for all the kids to be here. ACK! What’s even more annoying about that is that whenever I ask my boss about it, she says to talk to the kids’ other teachers and tell them that music’s basically more important than their class (and that kids who are in music will be better students). YEAH RIGHT! No teacher here is going to want some gringa waltzing into their class to tell them her class is more important than theirs! I think I’ll just wait to see what happens with the scheduling stuff- lots of things here just seem to be that, one long waiting period. Can’t imagine how incredibly wearing that must be to the people who live and work here year in and out.

I’ve been cooking my own food, which has been a bit of an adventure, but has also been really fun. There’s not much variety to be had- mainly the typical beans and rice, tortillas, plantains, tomatoes, bananas, and eggs (that’s about it) but I made spaghetti last week with a few girls who are here volunteering right now, which was fun (except I dumped half the noodles in the sink, so I just ate the dirty noodles! Quite the first dinner party, that’s for sure).Steph and I (the other Fabretto volunteer who’s from Colorado, currently living about an hour bus-ride away from me) went to Managua last weekend to renew our traveling visas. We went to immigration only to find that because we’re from the US, the normal rules don’t apply to us and we have an extra 60 days more than everyone else traveling here. Convenient, but also a bit typical and wearing. You’d think we have enough privledges?! Can’t complain about it, but it really goes with the whole theme here of regarding the US as this type of dreamland, a wonder world where nothing bad happens… I’ve had multiple people tell me that their biggest dream is to leave Nicaragua to find work in America. It’s so strange because I’ve never considered the fact that I could easily get a job (even a menial one) in the US to be a ‘big dream’ of mine… I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m reminded constantly of what I take for granted every single day living in the US. Having water…lights…the ability to trust in healthcare…enough teachers to have children in school for full days of learning (rather than wandering around or watching TV for hours upon hours… oh wait kids do that in the US too)…being able to fund simple projects such as public spaces for kids to play, teenagers to hang out safely… drinking water being safe! (one of my roomates has had a fever/headache and has been in bed for the last 3 days, he thinks it’s because of the water)…the ability to fund higher education (having the option of loans, even when our parents can’t afford to pay)…support for single moms… oh man the list goes on and on.

Access to bug exterminators is high on my list right now! All the websites I looked at for bedbugs say that to get rid of them you need to ‘hire a thorough exterminator, and it might take multiple treatments to fully rid your habitation of bugs’. I laughed. Yeah, next time I find an exterminator in the yellow pages around here I’ll be sure to ask him to fumigate every nook and cranny of my room.

Managua was great though, we stayed at a nice hotel (splurged with our first paycheck) and ate CHICKEN! (which was glorious), drank a few ice cold beers, giggled a lot… we’re so different but we really do have a blast together. Funny how being thrown together with someone in circumstances like these can make you feel so much closer to a person after a small amount of time. What I love about steph is that she always makes the best of things, and she laughs a lot- her enthusiasm is contagious. And she always shares her chocolate, which is a BIG deal in my world at the moment. One of our best moments of the weekend was when we learned that ‘karma’ is also a word in Spanish. We rode the public bus down to Managua and on the second leg of the journey we sat in the very back of the bus and were treated to a half-hour long evangelical sermon. The preacher was one of the most intensely passionate individuals I think I’ve ever seen… bible reached towards the heavens, hands outstretched, eyes closed… of course, being ever the photographer, I wanted to take a picture. But, I didn’t want it to be awkward so I pretended to take a picture out the window then quickly snapped a few of the preacher. We had a private giggle about the whole situation and I promptly forgot about the whole thing. We got on the next bus and were waiting to depart for Managua when a middle-aged Nicaraguan guy got on and quite literally pretended to take a picture out the window, then turned (about 6 feet away from me) and took a picture of me right in my face. I didn’t know what to do, so I just smiled… then burst out laughing and exclaimed “oh my goodness, karma!” Steph’s friend Henry who was with us (and knows no English) said “karma?” so I tried to explain it to him in Spanish… turns out karma’s a universal word. Ironic.

We got to tour one of the other Fabretto centers in a ‘suburb’ of Managua called San Isidro… one of the poorest areas of the city. It’s extremely rural, and dry… few houses cluttered along the windy dust filled road. The kids at the first school were beautiful. We were treated to a performance by a 6-year-old girl clad in her school uniform (complete with unzipped pants… not normal attire for a girl), she had thick spectacles, pigtail braids, and was one of the most intense little singers I’ve ever seen. The teacher that brought her out to sing for our little group was beaming, she was so proud of her little one. I couldn’t stop smiling- I swear a bird could have built a nest in my mouth my smile was so wide. When she hit her high note, her vibrato turned into a roar… and she was also grinning from ear to ear. It was a precious moment. The center that James (one of the JVI volunteers I went to ESL training with in January) works at has been recently remodeled… they have a beautiful new performance center and I got to meet with the music program director. He was really excited about getting our high school choirs to sing together, so I’m hoping to make that work out. We also got to tour one of Fabretto’s ‘experimental’ farms in the area- I frolicked through a pineapple field, ate a sweet lemon (not so good), and got to drink fresh coconut milk right out of a coconut that had just been cut down. It was a great little afternoon.

Yesterday I walked by the new baseball/soccer fields they’re building here and there were 3 goats mowing the lawn. It cracked me up. I was surprised that there weren’t men out there with machetes helping those poor little goats (that’s how they mow the grass at our school). I also saw my first duck/chicken cross. I don’t know how that’s even possible, but it was a strange looking animal… let me tell you. I’m starting to get used to the NOISE associated with being a music teacher. WOW. Kids are loud. I do love teaching, but I don’t think teaching the younger ages is my calling by any means. What I do love is giving voice lessons (although I don’t know what I’m doing) and making the students do all sorts of strange things they’d probably never be exposed to in a music class- dancing around while singing, a bit of yoga… Last night I suggested to the choir that one of our (entirely boring songs) could be sung as a blusey spiritual and got the most incredible response (I felt like I was right out of Sister Act or something) and immediately had them all laughing, smiling, singing with joy, and even got our drummer in on the action. I was on top of the world, it was definately the best teacher moment I've had thus far.

Suppose that’s enough rambling for now, but I will try to write more often so that my blogs aren’t a novel like this one seems to have become! Life’s going… I’m breathing, laughing, loving, and happy simply to be ALIVE in this moment. Sending lots of love and many blessings your way… Caliz (my new name here… which is also the cup of wine used in catholic mass in Spanish)