the power of one...

The last 24 hours we were visited here in Cusmapa by another group of current and potential donors from the States- this time a much different experience then spending time relaxing, lounging about on the surface of things with the “VIP” donors who visited last week. We had our second choir performance last night with ALL the kids (well probably about 60 out of 90 of them showed up) which was QUITE the experience, to say the least. Actually, the majority of them were extremely well behaved. I think they’re pretty used to being put in the spotlight and expected to do great things. Peter and the group of gringos didn’t show up until about an hour after they were supposed to be here, which gave the kids a lot of time to run around and get some wild energy out. I watched the sun set over the mountains as I stood outside of the school and felt an extreme sense of calm and peace wash over me, amidst the shrieking masses of kids. The band practiced for a while too, so I got to dance with a few of the Salesiano girls (my middle school aged choir group) - taught them a few swing moves, which really got the giggles going. Silly americans and their crazy dance moves J One of them in particular, Dignah, was wearing a beautiful light blue dress and danced with me, and had a glorious belly laugh going the whole time, it made me smile so hard I thought my cheeks would burst. A few of the little girls also brought me necklaces, one made of some kind of local seeds, and the other right off her neck… so much generosity without a second thought… I played tag with them, ran around for a bit (had them laughing again at how quickly their gringa choir teacher ran out of breath!) and did some horseback rides. I also had a wonderful little moment with Christian, one of the little boys in my Chiuinaso choir class who normally acts out during the whole class, and drives me crazy. He sat next to me and was very sweet… I think it’s hard because a lot of the reasons kids here act out are the same as in the States- their parents are too busy with other things to give them any kind of attention, teachers are too overwhelmed to give every child individualized positive attention, therefore the only way they get someone to notice them is to act out. The simple difference between the parents in this case is that parents in the States for the most part work hard to provide their kids/family with new material things, vacacions, a bigger house, a nicer car… whereas the parents here work simply so that their children might have something to eat. It’s a matter of thriving versus survival…

Anyways, the extra time before the concert actually filled me with more energy, and the concert itself went really well. Our crowd was extremely responsive and happy to be there, and I got many more congratulations than were actually due to me… I feel such a sense of pride in these kids, they’re all so TALENTED. It’s incredible, the amount of passion many of them have for music. I wonder if Brian (who started the program from scratch here 7 years ago) has ANY inkling of the amount of lives he’s touched here by his efforts. The power of one person to change the course of so many lives continues to amaze me… and the rippling effect one person can have on this world should NEVER be underestimated.

After the concert, Steph and I went up to the Casona with the group and had dinner (oh my goodness, such wonderful spaghetti!) and sat around the table and chatted for a long while… one of the ladies who’s been coming down here for 16 years was sitting next to me and she brought up something she said she’d been ‘thinking about for a long time…’ about the type of provocative dancing she’d seen earlier that day at one of the performances at a Fabretto school. She basically started blaming the culture here on making those sort of actions OK… I brought up the point that a lot of these kids get their images not only from local TV, but from stations such as MTV in the states which are also broadcast down here, and from our TV shows which they watch all the time. I then happened to mention that I wanted to be here for a while, then research a way to start a health education program for preteen girls here based on REALITY and fact rather than the abstinence preached (but obviously not followed by anyone) in this society. She started to talk about how she’d read some articles about how effective abstinence based education is, and her husband brought up one study he’d read and how he just ‘couldn’t believe that a 25 year study like Dr. so-and-so’s wouldn’t be taken seriously by everyone and their mother’ (well not exactly in those words, but he certainly made it sound like he was in complete awe of anyone who couldn’t keep their facts straight about the POWER abstinence based sex education. Of course I had to rival that assertation and immediately started on my little (Dr. Worsham-induced) soap-box about how much I’d read about abstinence based health education in general, and how it’s simply NOT effective for ANY negative behavior (smoking, drugs, drinking, sex…etc.). To which she answered that well, HER ORGANIZATION (ie: she’s the president of Tin Roof, a Catholic organization who gives TONS of money to Fabretto) had been putting an abstinence-based sex education course in place in all the Fabretto schools. UM. OOPS. AWKWARD. But of course I had to cover myself, so I didn’t stop there. I told her that I was really happy to hear her different opinion because it would help me in the long run to develop a much more well-rounded program to address this problem. She started going off about how she thought that what I was basically saying was that we should just give them condoms and tell them to go on ahead and have lots of sex (and that of course they wouldn’t use the condoms anyway in what she called ‘the heat of the moment’) and that I thought it was perfectly acceptable to tell 11-12 year olds to start having sex. RIGHT. That’s exactly what I was saying…. Not. At all. Luckily, one of my fellow table-mates came to my aid, a wonderful doctor from Ohio who’s in his mid 60’s who started telling stories about his work in community health in Cincinnati and how much problems he’d seen with parents who were in complete denial about their kids’ sexual behavior. One story he told involved a mother and daughter coming in together, the mom simply said ‘well just tell me if she’s pregnant’. After he checked the daughter out and determined she was not pregnant, he asked the mother if he could give her daughter birth control pills, to which she replied ‘HELL NO! She’s never doing that again’. The doctor looked at the daughter and asked, ‘well, are you?’ to which she defiantly regarded her mother and said, simply ‘of course I am’. The mother finally gave in and let the doctor give her daughter birth control pills, but not before going through a period of complete denial about the whole situation. Anyways, to make a long story short- I ended up feeling quite triumphant, with a beaming grin on my face- one that I only get from participating in rousing discussions like that one… I probably freaked out one of the main funders of our organization with my crazy sex talk and spooky liberal ways, BUT that’s what I’m here for!

After dinner, Steph and I came back to the house and talked for a long time. She’s been having a rough time feeling pretty taken advantage of in a lot of situations… housing, food, and her class time. I think it’s hard for her to stand up for herself, especially when considering the language barrier. I also think that she IS being taken advantage of in a lot of ways, which is really hard… and I don’t have a solution for it. Other than, I know she’s strong enough to figure out a way around feeling used all the time. We also talked about how hard it is sometimes to justify being here and taking the job of a local person. I have this inner debate all the time- what am I providing these kids with, or the program with, that a local couldn’t provide? I guess my only hope is that some of my proud, independent, wacky ways will rub off on some of the girls here and provide them with a way to break the cycle of young motherhood and having dependent children before they have the opportunity to really LIVE their own lives. I’ve also found that a lot of women here are just plain mean to each other (which I think to be true in the US also) and I think that by teaching women to team together to conquer the machismo bullshit they endure every moment of every day rather than divide themselves with jealousy in their current ‘dog-eat-dog’ world, many of the issues here could be helped. I’m also attempting to teach people different ways to express themselves creatively, which I believe to be one of the most important and joyful things in life- when we are able to express deep emotions using means such as music or art- we benefit ourselves and our surrounding world immensely.

Again, I stray from the reason I started writing this note in the first place…
Today at lunchtime, Steph and I went with Peter (our boss) up to the house that the donors stay in here in Cusmapa (which literally the biggest house in town) and had the best meal I’ve had in the last 6 weeks. We had soft tacos with CHEDDAR CHEESE (oh good lord), fresh guacamole, fresh salsa, beef (I haven’t had meat for about 2 weeks), beans, and homemade tortillas… they were glorious. I ate my heart out.

The night before, I had mentioned to my doctor friend, Elser (the one that backed me up in the abstinence debate) about how worried I was about Magda, that she’d been very sick the last week and that I thought she should get checked out more than what happens every time she goes to the doctor’s office here- ie: they give her shots of pain medication. I don’t even know why I’d mentioned it in the first place, other than it’s been on my mind a lot and I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about it… Before I’d left that night, he had offered his services to give Magda a consultation, which I was really happy about. Steph and Peter and I had passed a group of the donors on the way back up to the house, who were headed to the school (Elser being one of them) but I didn’t remember at the time that he’d promised to visit Magda. He showed up about 30 minutes later at the house and sat next to me at lunch so we had a chance to chat a bit. I wish I could describe this man with words… I can only say that he’s one of the gentlest men I’ve ever met, he’s quiet and brilliant, a true seer and believer in the power of making things happen. He told me he’d met with Magda, and that although he worried a bit about her health problems, he was much more concerned about the health issues of her disabled 6-year-old daughter, Guadalupe. He attributed much of Magda’s pain and headaches to the stress of worrying about her daughter, and told me that when he came back in 6 months he planned to see Guadalupe and see what he could do about helping her. That in itself was so relieving for me to hear, because of the sincerity with which he promised to help. After lunch, everybody packed up and got ready to leave. I said goodbye to Steph and turned around to see Magda walking up the driveway with Guadalupe in her arms… what happened next, for me, was nothing short of a miracle.

Time stopped as Magda sat in one of the wide wooden porch seats with Guadalupe on her lap, a shy soft-spoken little one wearing a blue Easter hat with daisies on it. I sat next to them, completely riveted. Elser knelt down in front of them, and regarded Guadalupe kindly, one spirit to another… asked for her name, and started to give her a checkup. What he needed to know most was if Guadalupe still had feeling in the left half of her body (they think she had some sort of stroke when she was about 1 ½ years old), so he began with having her grasp his fingers and squeeze them as hard as she could. Then he took the sock and shoe off her foot, which was nearly bent at a 90 degree angle to her ankle, and got her to wiggle her toes, and to lift the bottom half of her leg and hold it. With great care, he took a few photographs and had me take one of his hand clasping her foot. At this point in time, everyone there was holding their breath in awe of the moment already. He tried some different reflex motions with her arm, elbows, wrist… and had her follow his fingers with her eyes. Then he started snapping his fingers all around her head to see if she could follow the noise. I started thinking of how funny this all must have seemed to little Guadalupe- some strange tall, old, black man with a white beard, glasses, wide brown eyes- who didn’t many words of Spanish suddenly probing her and snapping his fingers everywhere, and couldn’t help but smile. Elser had Guadalupe clasp his hand once again with hers and squeeze to which she replied, “yo no puedo… porque yo no tengo fuerza” (I can’t because I don’t have any strength). At this moment, Elser looked at Magda in the eyes and said “We need to fix this foot.” Peter translated to Magda who asked, “If we fix it, will she be able to walk again?” Without hesitation, Elser answered a definitive “Yes.”

I thought my heart would burst… Peter took over, talking to Elser in business tones- that Fabretto could make this happen, that they’d find a pediatrician in Managua as soon as they could, a private doctor to take a look at Guadalupe and schedule her for surgery. She could have the surgery within a month, a fairly simple surgery which will only cost $900 but will mean the difference of Guadalupe’s whole life. Elser said that in a year, she could be able to walk again. At this point in time, I had tears streaming down my face and was not surprised to look at the others to find I was not the only one incredibly moved by this scene. Charlotte, the woman I had the heated debate with the night before, walked up to Magda and Guadalupe and told her that from now on she was going to have help, that she was not alone. At this point, Magda’s face absolutely crumpled in tears as she embraced Charlotte and Guadalupe looked at her mom, worried, brushing tears from her face. They embraced for a long moment, and tears of grateful joy were exchanged.

As Magda and Guadalupe left, I tried to stop my tears and said my goodbyes, but when I got to Elser I broke down thanking him…I choked on my words and could only offer a tearful embrace. He simply thanked me right back, and looking into my eyes sincerely said, “of course, my dear, I feel this moment deeply too”. It’s so hard to explain with any kind of words, but in the humble ways of this incredible man I may never meet again, I learned more than I ever have. I will never forget that moment… the moment I discovered the power of one person… that with one action of kindness and simple generosity the lives of a whole family will be changed forever.